We jumped in and the struggle was real! But the question is, was it worth it?!
Little did we know it was more than the fear of failure but everything else that went with it. When we jumped in to the business we did it blindly. Of course we had done some business research but at the time we decided so quickly without really thinking everything over. I had gone back and forth about owning a business but when we did it, it was at a time we were desperate and we needed something more in our life. Where my husband was at in his career, we knew it was now or never. In a lot of ways I think this was the best way at least it was for us. Over analyzing it we would have probably never had done it. As most things you can find a million and one reasons why it won’t work.
Through our young married life we had owned rental properties which helped in our soon and coming venture. We owned a rental property that needed some remodeling done to it so we decided to get a remodel loan and do the work ourselves and that was how we lived for the first year.
The real excitement happened after a few months and he got his first official job as a company and we were so ecstatic.
It was after this though, when our life started to be tested. Every horror I could dream up was starting to happen.
My husband crushed his foot and we had no official work, no money coming in, and no health insurance. We were told he would probably have to have surgery to pin it back together. All we could think of is we are doomed. We decided to get a second opinion. That was a good choice because it just had to be set in a cast a few times and then a boot. It was a total of about 4 months not able to move around as he should.
This didn’t stop my husband though, he was going to live his dream or else. He worked that first job pretty much by himself and one other employee. He would roll around on a stool and hobble around on his crutches. He was determined to make it all work.
The following month after the crushed foot incident, our oldest boy, who was 12 at the time, started to get really sick. I thought he had a bad flu. I noticed he was losing a lot of weight and he had a list of other ailments so I made a Dr. appt. They did a few tests and came in and told me the news I didn’t want to hear. He needed to go to children’s ICU, he was in DKA, which was he was slipping into a diabetic coma and our son would be living with Type 1 diabetes for the rest of his life. We did not know what was in store for his future. All that I can remember as I sat in the ICU with my baby and watch him laying there helpless, was feeling all alone, sad and extremely angry.
I started to slip into a deep darkness. I was angry at life and angry at God. I could not understand why everything was going horribly wrong and I didn’t know how we were going to get through it. I really just wanted to give up.
We worked through the issues from health to financial and now as I look back I know we had to go through this. It wasn’t ideal, but it helped me step out of my comfort and it helped me grow personally and in all the areas of life. It is still helping me grow. Even though we deal with our sons diabetes daily we figured how to make it like a normal life as best as possible even with many of the pains it brought to us. And our son is now 15 and doing great.
It took me months to deal with the darkness and it was a slow process. There were many times where we almost threw in the towel and gave up our business but there was this part of me that would say no, I think we can do this. Money was very tight and when I think back now I am not sure how we have made it through these last few years. There has been many a sleepless night and many a stressful days. We didn’t go through all our pain for nothing. There is a reason we decided to do this. We had to hold on and hold on we did.
So has this struggle been worth it in the end?
We are now going into our 4th year of business. There has been many growing pains and things don’t always look like there’s a silver lining but over all it’s so worth it. Even through many sleepless nights and struggles, the struggle is real and the struggle makes it all the more worth it.
I can’t see us being employed by someone again. Working for ourselves has brought so many great things which outweigh the bad. There are things I don’t always enjoy about it and it definitely has made me have to grow stronger and lean on God more. We are still in the newness but I know it will get better and if this business venture ever needs to go away I know we will have more to come. It makes us stronger in our independence and in our marriage and as a family.
With being self employed I don’t think there really is an end unless you want there to be. I think it creates an open door for more creativity, more opportunities, more exploring, more adventure and more ideas!
My final answer is I will always say owning a business is worth it more than the weekly paycheck and the false sense of security because nothing is ever secure. We have to hold on and if you are willing to put in the blood, sweat and tears, you will find your silver lining!