Do you know what it is that makes you feel alive?
I’ve been on a journey. It’s taken me a long time to figure it out, well actually, I’m still figuring it out but I did realize what my heart longs for.
I’ve realized one of my true passions.
For as long as I could remember being married, in love and having babies was all I could think of. I got married young, I was 19 and my husband was 21. We had no idea what life really had in store or what love and marriage truly meant. We would learn the hard way what those vows we had made before God and our families would mean and how important it was to keep our lives on the right path.
All I could think of those first few months of being married was how I longed to be a mom but we had decided we would wait 5 years and get financially ready and enjoy each other as a young married couple.
Sure you can make plans and that’s all well and good but I believe God had other plans because 7 months after we were married, we found out I was pregnant. We did not feel ready. Nothing was as we planned but it never truly is.
Secretly Even though I was scared, I was also really excited. I knew it messed up our so called plans but I could not imagine having a baby with any other man and I was ready to start our little family. We were so young and had no idea what a hard time we would have trying to grow up together and raise a young child at the same time. We were just kids ourselves and then we would be raising kids.
But then we kept going and I have to shout it from the rooftop….. ITS ALL WORTH IT!!!
Why ? because I want it to be and because it is.
Then even after all the hardships of being young, trying to grow up and not be selfish, trying to put each other first, raising babies, trying to find our selves, changing locations to moving to a new state with no friends, trusting when it’s not deserved, brutal and painful honesty, forgiving when we don’t want to,forgiving when we do, saying or thinking things we wish we hadn’t , wishing we had said things we didn’t, laughter, tears, heartbreak, communicating when we don’t want to, financial hardship, new jobs, new ideas, coming together when all we want is to do it alone, following in our beliefs, spiritual struggles, health issues and pretty much all the in between; we went on a wild ride and held on tight.
We disliked each other. We loved deeply. We loved painfully. We hurt each other. We wanted to give up, but we held on to each other.
Now almost 17 years and 3 children later what have I learned?
That my heart still longs for true love and marriage and raising my family. Even when there’s all these other things that try to get in my way my heart knows what my heart wants. And I still love my young love and my heart beats for him and only him even when we see all of each others flaws and we still don’t get it right every single time, we love with a deep, sometimes painful, but real love.
And I realize my true passion- it’s my family. It’s growing in strength through all life throws your way and not giving up even when that seems like an easier route
With that I say be blessed. Hang on tight. Love deeply even when it hurts. Find what makes you alive. Find your passion even if it’s as simple as just being you.
live loud, run wild and be free!
Be The Light for all to see