I may not be a very good friend

I have come to realize that I may not be as great a friend as I thought. I always thought I was a great friend, maybe a little too cautious and careful, but I am honoring and loyal and I think I am pretty fun.

When you get me as a friend I will be by your side, protect you, love you unconditionally, laugh with you, cry with you but if I feel like I am in your way I will step aside. I bring fear into the relationship and I protect my heart. Putting an arms distance eventually causes someone to back away and eventually the friendship starts to drift away.

Friendships are different than when you are a kid. Kid friendships are in some ways a lot easier. As you grow up, get married and have kids it all changes. Your priorities change. Everyone starts to change,  life events happen and it gets so easy to get busy and lose sight of your friendships.  I try real hard to keep in touch but it all seems so tough and so I fail at them.  I really want to try to be a better friend even when I am scared and not push people away.  But then again I can’t keep trying to make everyone else happy, it just doesn’t work. I need to be happy too.

I can’t keep giving when there is nothing in return.

I have begun  a process trying to figure out how I can be a better friend and still protect my heart. I want to keep my love on but not get so wrapped up and let someone who does not deserve to be in my inner circle have the same access to my heart as some one who cherishes me dearly as a friend.

And so it goes another day to learn some life lessons!

How to be a better friend?