Seasons, We have them in nature and we have them in our everyday lives. We can either learn to embrace them or we can fight it at every moment. I know I have seen many great seasons of life but also painful ones as well. As I look back to when I thought something was impossible to get through, I am here today and I have survived it. But what if we more than survived? What if we thrived from our seasons of changes? Embracing them every step of the way. And those season of change mold us into a new person, a better person than we ever thought possible.
Over the years I have been through many seasons of pain and life stumbling blocks. But for the last two years I have felt that I could possibly be being punished or maybe I just didn’t deserve to have good things go my way. I felt as if my life was crumbling around me and I was sad. Just sad, angry and all emotions rolled into one. Life was not as easy as I had been hoping it would be. For the last two years the months of August and September seem to be a curse on our family. My husband crushed his foot on a piece of machinery and we were unsure he would walk again. After many Dr visits and second opinions, It healed just fine but we had 3 long months of annoying casts and crutches and being inconvenienced. A month after he had crushed his foot, my world fell apart and my oldest boy was hospitalized with DKA and diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I felt betrayed by God and I was so sad and depressed. I could not understand how my healthy 12 year old was so sick and I didn’t know it. I felt like a bad mom and that I had done something wrong. I hid from people because I was suppose to be tough and nobody really knew how hurt I really felt. We made it through that year but it was hard. As I felt like I was getting through the darkness that year my dreaded months showed up again and expecting something bad again, it happened. The same month around the same time as his crushed foot, my husband fell of his work trailer and hurt his back. We thought he was going to be paralyzed and that he broke his back. After an ER visit, he was fine just bruised badly and had broken a small spindly part off one of his bones in his spinal cord. He was in pain for a few months and probably will have slight back pain for ever but it could have been worse. Then the dreaded September came around and yes a tragedy happened. My middle boy fell off a trampoline and mutilated his foot in 4 places. It was three long months of surgery and casts and walking boots. At those times I just felt like I could not take anymore. I was sick of pain and tragedy and really unsure why we even live. I wondered whats the point if everything was so painful. I asked God what did I do wrong that I have to be punished and my kids and husband have to suffer. These may seem like little problems to some but to me I struggled and I was worn and tired.
Over the years my husband and I have had many life troubles we have dealt with. We have been through what felt like Hell and back to keep our marriage alive. We have been through health issues where I was told that he was dying from a heart attack and to be prepared to say goodbye. And we have been through health issues and broken bones with our kids. We are stronger now than ever before but its been a tough road. Everyone is doing good and my oldest still has type 1 diabetes, of course he will have that forever until there is a cure. But It has taken me until now to realize how through these storms I am better person for them. Instead of being angry at God, I thank him daily for my life. I thank him for giving me my family and my moments are cherished more than ever.
Here we are 2 years later and its that time of year again. I have a different thought this year instead of dreading what could happen I have decided to embrace the changes. I can get through whatever life throws my way. Instead of dreading what may come I am thankful for each moment that is here because in a flash it can change.
This year I choose this moment. I choose impossible.
Are you struggling to embrace your season? Good things will come your way. And this storm will pass.