ChooseToday · Life

To have and to hold

135459901261946136_Abj0e6FL_bIt hasn’t always been this way. Loving someone so intensely with all my heart. There was a time where I questioned why I even got married. I asked God ” Why did I marry this man? He obviously is not who you wanted for me” “Boy did I make a mistake”

Of course the day I married this man, who is my husband, I loved him but it was young puppy love. It was, I don’t care that anyone says I am too young, I am going to marry him anyway.

I was googly eyed and foolish Or was I?

Over the years we struggled. We had babies. We had fights. We had everything couples could struggle with. Financial woes, health issues, sick kids, you know – life. I thought several times, if only I had chosen another or if only I could leave. But something always brought me back to him. Now he’s a hard worker, a good provider and loves his children with all his heart. But I wanted easy. I wanted the fairy tale love. Not this pain and suffering and having to communicate and learn each others ways. Trying to figure out this tough thing called marriage, I had enough. In my young childhood days this was not what marriage was suppose to be. Why was it so hard?

We had choices to make. We either stick it out, find out how to know each other and learn to keep our love on or we choose to part ways. Like I had said I very easily could have parted ways. This marriage thing sucked. And raising kids and being thrown every stumbling block I could think of wasn’t making it any better.

I chose to stick it out. Now I am so thankful I did. Of course we still have our days, Life’s not perfect. But I can say that this day I love my man with every part of my soul. I think of him and my heart melts. I see our future. I see his love for me and I know I deserve it now. I deserve him and He deserves me. We chose each other. We have chosen a path that is tough and it hurts and its not easy. But the path is together and so we fight for each other. We fight for our kids and we learned how to communicate better. Taking time to be just us sometimes and also time to be a family. We strive to have dreams with each other but also FOR each other. We are a whole but still separate. We are a strand of three cords that can’t easily be broken!

I choose today to do the impossible and love with all my heart.

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