What if you could start your life over? Or pick a part of your life that maybe you are unhappy you took a certain path and you could change that decision?Would that be a good thing? Sometimes its better that we made a mistake in life and learned from it then to start over but I still wonder. I have asked this question, for my life, many times. If I was not so young when I got married or had babies so quickly, how would my life be today and would I be happy or still trying to figure it out. I think we are still trying to figure life out no matter what though. And we are given certain paths to choose from. One road may seem like we took the wrong turn but maybe we really needed that wrong turn to grow stronger or learn something or even make us remember to breathe in the little things and not take anything for granted.
I am stronger today than I have ever been in my life but there are days where I am beat down and not feeling so strong. As I look back at me a few years ago I can see a different and better me. It has taken a long time to get here. This last year and half has had me truly questioning everything I ever knew was right or what I thought may be right. I think I will always research and investigate and keep an open mind from now on. There is just too much to not really check it out. And every human being is different, with their own mind and their own thought process, with different backgrounds in the way they were raised or events that have happened, good or bad, that makes each one of us have a story that is different from one another. You may meet someone who you think believes the same or thinks the same but I have found this is just not so. What this means to me is, I will embrace others ideas and not change my past but I will only change my actions today. I will live in this moment I am living in right now. I will learn from my every second and I will take the moments that are special and not throw away the negative but that will not be my main focus. The truth is really in the long run those little pieces of negativity could be something amazing or have helped me be who I am today.
I am thankful I chose to marry young and be a mommy at a young age. It has been tough and I may not love every second of it but I do love it. I am happier today with my husband than we ever have been and even though we make dumb decisions which sometimes make us suffer and feel like our world is crumbling down, we have learned to do it together and everyday is a growing, learning experience. I am happy we have our three kids and the way we are choosing to raise them even when I question myself sometimes, overall my kids are perfect in my eyes and they are happy so that what matters. I may decide to change something today that could either break my future or save my future but I will be glad in the end I chose that because we are ever growing and changing our minds about anything and everything. Don’t grow and be old and grumpy, instead laugh and live and never ever stop your love. Its all about the human experience called life!