My soul and my mind are tired

I have done pretty well keeping things together when it feels like everything is falling apart. I have had a few meltdown days but overall God has brought me peace. I still wonder why do we keep going through rough patches. What is He trying to tell me or what should I be taking in from these trials and tribulations? Last night I fell into a deep sleep. But every few hours my alarm would go off so I could give my son his medicine to make sure he stayed out of pain from his foot surgery. I felt like I had a newborn again. And I slept in until 10 am. Then we had a nice breakfast and just snuggled together. My favorite kind of mornings for sure. We read some books and listened to audio books. Then I looked at calendar and realized that Sept. 22nd 2011 my oldest was diagnosed with T1D and sent to the hospital. Wow, I thought maybe my mind has been thinking of this but I didn’t realize it. I just feel so exhausted mentally and physically and I am positive I could sleep for about 2 days straight. Everyday I am thankful for his life and just the fact that I have my 3 children here with me I have to cherish this and every moment that is good and pure even when darkness tries to creep in.

I ended up getting a two hour nap today after I started this post. I just was dragging and could not stay awake. I hope I’m not coming down with something. After the nap I felt so much better but now it’s getting late and I will start the process all over again maybe I’ll take a nap tomorrow too. I usually don’t let myself rest during the day but it sure feels good when I do. Luckily this weekend is low key so I should rest up for another crazy busy week.
I have a difficult time giving free time to myself but when I’m helping everyone else with all the etc, etc’s I put myself on the back burner. These are the times I go in melt down mode when I’ve exhausted every part of me deep down to my mind and my soul. Today I have prayed for my peace and my calm mind to come over me. I am here to take care of my family but if I don’t take care of myself first I won’t be here for them. Anyone struggle with this? I love my job as a stay at home /work at home mom but there are times I’m just burnt out and a nice nap helps me go to my sweet bliss. And maybe I need to get a little more organized. Who knows it could help?!


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