Life

Fear

Fear, it can be all consuming. Even if you try not to let it, it can take over every aspect of you. I have a lot of fears. But what I want is to Fear nothing. I’m not quite there yet.

I fear my kids getting really sick and not knowing they are sick. One thing that scares me is i did not realize how sick hunter was. He was hospitalized because I did not recognize the signs of his diabetes and his body shutting down. We thought he had the flu. I just want to know and have the instincts but it makes me over worry if that can even be the case. Im a mom and I worry bottom line. Its a tough deal. I am sure my kid’s Dr. thinks that I’m a worry wacko but I’m about being safe than sorry anymore. And I told them that. I have expressed my concerns but that still doesn’t make them think I’m any less of a loon, I’m sure.

Last week my daughter was really sick with a high fever and just slept and slept. I had to sleep with her for a few nights due to her in pain and fighting the fever. She was sick for a few days and then she started feeling better. After 2 days of seeming like she was better, she got sick again and the fever came back. She was still so sleepy,grouchy and couldn’t stop shivering so I took her to dr. They said she had the flu thats going around. I had my doubts thats what it was but she’s all back to herself now and all is well.

I have 2 big fears #1 cancer and #2 my other 2 kids will get diabetes. I hate these fears but as a mom I will worry about my kids and their life forever. I think I have silently worried since they were conceived. I silently and out loud say prayers over them and I hope they can have a wonderful life amongst some health detours . Thats all I can do. I hope to fear nothing some day. But for now I will be thankful, count my blessings and push away the silent fears in my mind.

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