Life

It’s a numbers game

It’s all just playing the game of numbers. If you hate math learn to love it because life really is just a bunch of numbers. What’s your weight? What’s your estimate on a job? What’s your blood glucose? How many units of insulin per gram of carbs do I take? What’s your cholesterol? How much are taxes? I mean have you really looked at all the numbers we actually deal with?

My son really despises math. I tell him it’s important even if its not his favorite. He has to deal with numbers everyday about 6-8 times a day. If he doesn’t get it right it can be fatal. They recommend his blood sugar numbers to be around 70-180. But they fluctuate all the time. He’s active, he’s almost a teenager in a few months, he’s still growing, he eats like a horse and can eat all day but still is a beanpole. All these factors fall into place for his blood sugar numbers. Somedays my brain wants to shut down because I can’t figure out how we will do so well and then the next meal he has skyrocketed to a high. I know we’ve gone through the education and I read all the books they gave us in the hospital. I check out websites but still it’s, well , annoying. I’m coming to terms we can’t just get it right. Its like everything else. We can try our hardest to be perfect at keeping a close range in numbers but we won’t always succeed. For someone who fights for perfection, more and more I’m realizing after many imperfect changes in life, this can not be.

My son started track a few weeks ago and the weather is getting nicer. Which means lots more activity. I knew we would see his blood sugars change for the extra activity and I was right. He gets home from track and he is absolutely starving everyday. With all the eating his numbers go high then at dinner I have to figure out how much I should actually do on his sliding scale along with the carb counting. But if I mess up, a few hours later as he’s laying in bed his numbers drop drastically and we deal with a half hour to bring his blood sugar back up. It’s enough to make me go off the deep end when I over analyze. I’m daily looking for my peace, my inner calm to combat this daily battle.

Somedays we just have to stay on autopilot and figure it out. Just go with the flow. But until then I’m praying for a cure. I hope they can figure it out. It makes me sick he has to deal with this the rest of his life and I will not always be here for him to rely on. He needs a support system for the rest of his life because having T1D you can be alone. We are a team. We are team hunter.

This is our Step out to stop diabetes walk in October.

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